I think what I will do is work on an offline text file and write whatever comes to my mind, if necessary then I will separate the entries into different blogs.
I just saw this speech by photographer Allison Wright. Some of her stories truly moved me. When she talked about transmitting empathy and compassion through her photography work it really sort of hit a chord, turned on a light bulb, resonated with me.
It makes me ponder. Yet, I am enjoying this lifestyle. It is an ok balance between stability and adventure. It makes me want to master this new camera I got, and start telling stories. The stories of what I see.
Looking at her NG bio she mentions documenting, another verb I like. Make a list of the verbs you like, stitch up a joyful livelihood?
I see this girl’s blog and it is impressive how fast she integrates, how she hits the ground running, quite literally. She just moved back to the states and within 4 months has traveled back to Europe, received a visit from her boyfriend, ran a marathon in another state, has had dinner with neighbors, organized a dinner back in Europe. Really, and she is not the only one. It is like, what am I waiting for? I don’t really seize the day, you know? I tend towards fatalism. I should fight it, or make myself happy within my personality? I think that is what I should do, just strive for happiness and not force anything.
Also, ask myself how do I look from the outside, what do I send out to the viewer. I was ranting when I was talking to w and he perceived it, apparently he didn’t like it.
Anyway, I had thought of requesting working from home Th and Friday, but I think I will go and just be chill, Friday you can just wear a skirt and be relaxed and maybe even Thursday as well. Go and make some progress on the direct filing thing. Real progress. Do the faxes and confirmation verifications. All that is crappy work, I guess he is right. My goal will be, even if not really heading towards something, to excel here, if I am allowed to stay :), and then maybe move to that other place, if the opportunity is still available.
I think I am limited without a law degree from the us, so maybe I should consider an online one from the US. Hmm, there are some schools that might be doable, with video lectures…and more the US stlye, but still you would need to take the baby bar.
thinking about it!
Who knows why he invites me over to his house. He says it is so his son can practice English. And it might be that. So all in all it is not because of any genuine interest, fraternal or otherwise, in my person. But more because of wanting to get something out of you. The poing being, to not get carried away trusting this individual. Being nice to him, greeting him and chatting with him in the office, is just that, professional cordiality. This individual should have no bearing whatsoever on your decisions, professional or personal. I get carried away when I have him in front of him, but I will soon outgrow that . I was taken aback recently when I was complaining to him about my salary situation and he said, first, remain calm. I didn’t think I was yelling, I was agitated, but nothing grave. Just normal complaining tone. So, I don’t know where that came from, and he said, you’re an attorney, you’re a lawyer, you have to talk this way and this other way. Which to me it meant that maybe I was acting very unprofessionally, in a ghetto way, idk. I told him I was just being casual with him. I was indeed being somewhat aggressive but definitely not something to write home about, just your normal upset tone, something that wouldn’t cause concern stateside. I think he may have never seen a woman talking so strongly, maybe. The truth is, I have been excessively coy, in an attempt not to intimidate these people. I guess he got used to it. What I am faced with now, is how to shape my professional demeanor, my development, in a manner that does not involve this person. I know I need to take some initiative now with respect to issues pertinent to my country, be more proactive there. So keep up with the work that you have to do. Definitely set some productivity goals and adhere to them.
Meene be proud of yourself. You have an EE degree you had very little support and you finished with honors. You had no one kissing you good night. Not many people have really believed in you. At least this guy takes time to talk to you, even if sometimes you don’t like what he says. You need to step back and be the bigger person. Always. Always. Always. Because, you know what, trust that you will be rewarded. It has happened before and it will happen again, you will be rewarded. Trust it 🙂 Take it easy, the most important thing is to be likable. W is a good friend to have, he can be annoying at times, and it sucks because I’m sure I am annoying at times to him but he wouldn’t know it.
I just had an idea. I will study for the LSAT! I took it once, in London, and bombed it. What I will do now, is I will study study study and when I feel I am ready I shall sign up for the test 🙂 I’m taking it just for kicks!
I want to get some work done today, log in the hours for Friday. I am searching for apartments as I hope to move to a better location. It’s hard and I feel myself tying to a location just because of a gym. I don’t know. I don’t know how to go about this, should I go closer to the center? The reality is this place does not inspire me. I don’t know, maybe is because I’m freaking worrying all the time, about money or work. Shit.
There is this place I used to go, in my mind. Where I would dream about narrow winding European streets. About the lost generation in a cafe. I think I have let others opinions chip away at the dream or pound it in hard to hide it. Because, when I look at the lives of other people, a minority actually, they are doing or have done the ‘more exotic land’ thing, and it becomes a competition in my mind. But why should it? I mean, I can do all of that and more. And Europe is great, there is so much I have yet to discover!
And this dream that I had. Inspired by the films of Almodovar, and those films I would watch on Wednesdays that summer in college. That deep love of film. That yearn to tell my own stories and turn them into imagery? How do I express that? I am tired.
One of the strategies I will use to earn more, and put more towards my debt, is blogging. I have just come up with the idea. It is something I had thought of before but now is when I am finally stable to think it thoroughly and dedicate the time to it. I have been learning about how to get started. About affiliate links, text ads, banners, sponsored posts.
I plan on having blogs on many topics, such as weight loss, debt management/finances, law school, the EQE, and travel with great photography, also a lifestyle blog. I would also like a career switcher/sabbatical/travel with work kind of website. Lots of blogs, where to host them? Research hosting companies.
So that is the next step or steps:
1-research hosting companies
2-think of domain names…buy domain name
2-how would i pay for this (paypal maybe?)
3-get a camera, a good one, such as canon or nikon, in order to -save towrds that, research on cameras, I like the one SwedishLA uses.
3-structure my posting, when will I write, I think this is not so important